Cebu's HOTTEST Hotel: SMAK's Luxury Awaits!
SMAK's Luxury Awaits: A Cebu Hotel Review That Tries Too Hard (and Mostly Succeeds)
Okay, so I just got back from Cebu, and, let me tell you, my brain's still buzzing from the experience. And a HUGE chunk of that buzz is thanks to SMAK's Luxury Awaits. Let's just say, the name… well, they aim high, don't they? Did they always hit the mark? Let's dive in, shall we? Buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one. I'm bringing all my usual scattered thought-process along for the ride. Like a pack mule carrying way too much luggage up a mountain of expectations.
Accessibility: The First Hurdle (and Surprisingly, Mostly Cleared)
First off, I'm a big believer in inclusivity, right? So, kudos to SMAK for mostly getting it right on the accessibility front.
- Wheelchair accessible: Honestly, my own mobility is fine, but I'm hyper-aware of these things. The ramps were smooth, the elevators were roomy (a huge plus!), and the public areas seemed thoughtfully designed. I saw a few guests with mobility issues navigating things with relative ease. That's HUGE.
- Facilities for disabled guests: They definitely advertise them. Whether they're actually perfect depends on the user, of course. But I saw evidence of thoughtful design – grab bars, accessible toilets, etc. Baby steps, but good steps.
Inside the Castle Walls: Restaurants, Lounges, and the Internet Abyss
Now, let's talk about the heart of any good vacation: food, booze, and the internet!
- On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Several! And the variety was impressive, which is always a win.
- Dining, drinking, and snacking: Oh, the choices! Let's wander through the culinary wonderland. A la carte, Buffet, Coffee Shop, Desserts, Happy Hour, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Snack bar…you get the idea.
- Restaurants: A little bit of everything. International cuisine, Asian cuisine, Vegetarian options, Western cuisine - it felt like a global food tour.
- Bar: The bar was decent, a welcome respite after a hot day.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Reliable caffeine fixes. Very important.
- Breakfast: Buffet! Asian, Western options, all in a row… though if I'm being honest, the eggs were slightly… industrial tasting. Not disastrous, but not exactly homemade, like my grandma's.
- Room Service: The 24-hour room service was clutch. Trust me. Midnight cravings? They've got you covered, even if you just want a club sandwich because you've been stuck in a meeting all day and your brain’s fried.
- Internet: Okay, here's the bit that really, really matters.
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: HOORAY! That’s a solid start.
- Internet access – wireless: Check.
- Internet access – LAN: Also, check. A bit of a throwback, but appreciated by the tech-savvy.
- Internet services: They say great internet. Oh, the saying… it's where things get… complicated. I had moments where the Wi-Fi behaved like a shy teenager - present but awkward and unreliable. There were times in the lobby where I could barely stream a cat video. And the LAN? Well, let's just say I spent one glorious afternoon tethered to the wall, like a modern-day Luddite, trying to upload photos. Frustration levels were… significant. The good news? When the Wi-Fi worked, it worked okay. But the drama around it… Ugh. This is the one area they need to seriously up their game.
Relaxation Station: Pools, Spas, and the Pursuit of Zen (Mostly)
Vacation is for unwinding, yes? SMAK gets this.
- Things to do, ways to relax: They seriously get this. Spa, Pool, Gym… it's all there.
- Swimming pool: One outdoor pool. A glorious, sprawling oasis.
- Pool with view: Yes. Breathtaking. The best part? The sun-drenched, stunning pool.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: The spa smelled divine, it was clean, and the staff were lovely.
- Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap: I knew I had to go. The massage was incredible. I’m still riding the high. I almost fell asleep mid-massage, which is about as high praise as I can give.
- Foot bath, Gym/fitness: I’m not a gym person, but it looked well-equipped and clean.
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-era Considerations
Let's face it: COVID's changed everything.
- Cleanliness and safety: They tried hard. They really did.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Check, check, check, check, check. It felt reassuring.
- Hand sanitizer: Dispensers everywhere.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Observed… mostly… sometimes the buffet was a bit crowded.
- Safe dining setup: Pretty good.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Yes!
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Nice. You might need a break from all the cleaning.
- Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit: Always good to know.
Beyond the Basics: Services, Conveniences, and the Extras
SMAK's not messing around when it comes to the bells and whistles.
- Services and conveniences: Oh, where to begin?
- Air conditioning in public area: Absolutely a necessity in Cebu.
- Business facilities: Meeting rooms, business center - the works.
- Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Currency exchange: All covered.
- Daily housekeeping: Spotless. Seriously impressive. Our room was always immaculate.
- Doorman: Yes.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Facilities for disabled guests: (Again, mentioned above).
- Food delivery: Yes. Perfect for lazy nights.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Useful.
- Laundry service, Ironing service: They've got you covered.
- Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes: Secure and convenient.
- Smoking area: Designated.
- Terrace: Lovely.
- Valet parking: Fancy!
- Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Front desk [24-hour]: Efficient and friendly.
- Hotel chain: It's part of a chain, but it doesn't feel like a faceless chain hotel.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: A huge plus. Parking can be a nightmare in some parts of Cebu.
- Airport transfer, Taxi service: Easy, reliable.
- For the kids:
- Babysitting service: Yes.
- Family/child friendly: Yes.
- Kids facilities, Kids meal: Kid-friendly, but I'm not a parent, so I can't give you a super detailed review.
- Miscellaneous:
- Exterior corridor: Fine.
- Non-smoking rooms: Yes.
- Pets allowed unavailable: No pets.
- Couple's room: Romantic!
- Proposal spot: That sounds dramatic. I'm in.
- Room decorations: A touch of elegance.
- Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Fire extinguisher, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Safe dining setup, Smoke detectors, Soundproof rooms, Exterior corridor: All there, creating a sense of security.
Inside the Fortress: The Rooms - Ah, The Rooms!
Okay, let's get real about the actual living spaces.
- Available in all rooms: They hit all the major points, and the details made those spaces more comfortable than ever.
- **Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! Because we're about to dive headfirst into a glorious, messy, and probably slightly sunburned trip to SMAK's Hotel in Cebu. Prepare for a schedule that's less "Swiss watch precision" and more "slightly-tipsy-trying-to-remember-if-I-locked-the-door" reality.
SMAK's Hotel, Cebu: A Hot Mess Itinerary (and I mean that in the BEST way)
Day 1: Arrival… and Immediate Chaos!
Morning (AKA, the "Hurry Up and Wait" Episode):
- 6:00 AM: Wake up. Or maybe not. Let's be honest, the alarm is a suggestion. Currently wrestling with the logistics of getting dressed, packing, and making sure my passport (and my sanity) are actually in my luggage.
- 7:00 AM: Taxi to the airport. Praying the driver doesn't take 'the scenic route' through every single rice paddy in the Philippines.
- 8:30 AM: Airport arrival. Cue the anxiety: Is my bag overweight? Did I forget to print my boarding pass? Did I accidentally leave my brain at home? (Spoiler alert: I often do.)
- 9:00 AM: Flight. Finally, a moment to (attempt to) relax. But it's a short flight. I'm sure some people are relaxed on the plane, probably reading the economy's charts. I'm more likely to be wrestling with a lukewarm airplane burrito and the existential dread of limited legroom.
- 11:00 AM: Arrive Cebu! Cebu Mactan International Airport. This is where the real adventure begins… or maybe just the sweating. The humidity hits you like a wall. Immediately, the humidity, the noise, the sheer energy of the Philippines… It's exhilarating and exhausting all at once.
- 11:30 AM: Find a taxi. Negotiate the price. Feel like I'm getting ripped off, accept the price anyway because "I'm on vacation".
Afternoon: SMAK's Hotel Check-In (and the inevitable first SNAFU):
- 12:00 PM: Arrive at SMAK's Hotel! I. Am. Here. Check-in. Pray for a room with a decent view. Or, failing that, a room that doesn't face the noisy air conditioning unit.
- 12:30 PM: Unpack. Immediately regret the six pairs of shoes I packed. (I'm always wrong about the shoes).
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Discover the joys of Filipino food. Adobo, lechon… OH. MY. GOD. My taste buds just went on a religious retreat.
- 2:00 PM: A bit of a wander. Maybe find the pool? Maybe get lost?
- 3:00 PM: Pool time? This might be the actual reason, I booked this hotel!
- 5:00 PM: The first real imperfection: I'm still trying to find where my phone is. Did I drop it? Did I leave it in the taxi? Is it in the room?
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a nearby restaurant. Trying something new. Probably ordering something I can't pronounce and loving it anyway.
- 7:00 PM: That food was really excellent. It's like a party in my mouth.
- 8:00 PM: Walk to the beach. Observe the waves.
Evening:
- 9:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Maybe a cocktail. Definitely collapse in a heap on the bed.
- 10:00 PM: Trying to stay awake to journal, but my eyelids are staging their own protest.
- 11:00 PM: Sleep. Or, more accurately, a blurry half-sleep punctuated by mosquito buzzing, and the incessant hum of the air conditioner (which, let's be honest, is secretly a soundtrack to island life).
Day 2: Colon Street & a dive into the city.
Morning:
- 9:00 AM: Wake up.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast at the hotel.
- 10:00 AM: Explore the city.
- 11:00 AM: Check the market and buy a local snack.
Afternoon:
- 12:00 AM: Lunch at a local restaurant.
- 1:00 AM: Continue exploring.
Evening:
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the hotel.
- 8:00 PM: Massage.
- 9:00 PM: Watch the sunset.
Day 3: The Great Escape
Morning (The "I Just Want to Sleep In" Chapter):
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Probably late. Maybe with a slight post-cocktail headache.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast… if I can drag myself out of bed.
- 10:00 AM: Get around.
- 11:00 AM: Try watersports
Afternoon:
- 12:00 AM: Lunch at the beach.
- 1:00 PM: Check the hotel.
- 2:00 PM: Shop for souvenirs
Evening:
- 7:00 PM: Dine and watch the sunset!
- 9:00 PM: Farewell dinner.
- 10:00 PM: Packing.
- 11:00 PM: Good night.
Day 4: Departure. Or, "Goodbye, Cebu, You Glorious Mess!"
- Morning (The "Last-Minute Panic" Finale):
- 6:00 AM: Alarm! Or, the sad excuse for an alarm coming from me, anyway.
- 6:30 AM: Check out of SMAK's Hotel. Try not to leave anything vital behind.
- 7:00 AM: Taxi to the airport. Pray the traffic isn't horrific.
- 8:00 AM: Airport. Check-in, security, the whole shebang.
- 9:00 AM: Boarding the flight. Reflect on the trip. Smile because you're going home.
- 10:00 AM: Depart!
Final Thoughts:
This is just a suggestion. Things WILL go wrong. You WILL get lost. Your luggage may (probably will) contain questionable souvenirs. You will probably eat something that makes you question your life choices. Embrace the chaos. Cebu, and SMAK's Hotel, are an experience. Go with the flow, laugh at your mistakes, and come home with a suitcase full of memories (and hopefully, not too many insect bites). Cheers to the adventure!
Bandung Getaway: Stunning 2BR Buah Batu Park Apartment Near Toll!
Alright, spill the tea: Is SMAK's Luxury Awaits! really *that* luxurious? 🤫
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because I'm about to get REAL. Yes. Oh, YES. SMAK's? It's like… imagine your entire life, but suddenly someone upgraded it with triple-ply toilet paper *and* someone else is constantly offering you mango smoothies. The lobby alone? I spent a good ten minutes just… absorbing the opulence. Crystal chandeliers, marble floors you could eat off (though, I wouldn't), and a scent that's aggressively, undeniably, *expensive*. I almost tripped over my own feet just trying to keep from looking like a total peasant. Seriously, the first few hours were a blur of wide-eyed wonder and trying not to accidentally touch anything. I mean, let's be real, I did drop my phone, right in front of the concierge. Mortifying. But the recovery was smooth, seamless. That's the SMAK's difference. They're used to it.
The room… TELL ME ABOUT THE ROOM! 😶
Okay, the room. Where do I even *start*? Imagine a cloud. Now, imagine that cloud actually *is* a bed. That's the bed. Seriously. I’m not exaggerating. I’m pretty sure I achieved a new level of sleep I didn’t know existed. Every morning, I didn't want to leave! My husband had to drag me out for breakfast. He wasn't thrilled. But the bathroom? The bathroom *slapped*. (Sorry, I’m reverting to Gen Z. But seriously.) Rain shower? Check. Deep soaking tub big enough for a small army? Check. Heated floors? Double check! The only downside? I spent so much time in there, I almost missed the sunset. (And, yes, I’m being dramatic, but it was borderline tragic.) Plus, it had this… automatically closing toilet seat. I jumped the first time. I swear, it nearly gave me a heart attack. But hey, that’s part of the adventure, right? You know, the little things that make you feel like you're living in the future.
Is the food as good as everyone says? (Because I'm a foodie!) 🤤
Okay, my fellow food enthusiasts, listen up. The food… is a religious experience. Seriously. I’m still dreaming about the lechon they had at the poolside buffet. Crispy skin, melt-in-your-mouth meat, the perfect balance of flavors… I may have gone back for seconds… and thirds… and possibly a discreet fourth. I’m not proud. But the chefs are artists! Even the simple things, like the morning toast, were elevated to a culinary masterpiece. I swear, they sprinkled fairy dust on it. Okay, maybe not, but it was *that* good. The only downside? I gained like, five pounds. Worth it. Absolutely and completely worth it. I'm counting the days until I can go back just to eat everything again!
What about the service? Are the staff as attentive as everyone claims? 👩🍳
Forget attentive. The staff at SMAK's? They're telepathic. Seriously. As soon as you even *think* about wanting something, they're already there, anticipating your needs. I remember getting a slight headache one afternoon, and before I could even formulate the word "aspirin" in my brain, a kind gentleman with a tray of cold towels and pain relievers appeared. I was so stunned, I nearly dropped my phone again. (I'm clumsy, okay?) It's like they're trained ninjas of hospitality. And they're genuinely *nice*. Not the fake, forced-smile nice, but real, warm, and welcoming. It's the kind of service that makes you feel like royalty, even when you're wearing your pajamas and haven't brushed your teeth. Which, let's be honest, was me most of the time. (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone!)
Okay, so what's the *catch*? What's the one thing that wasn't quite perfect? There *must* be something! 🙈
Alright, alright, you got me. Nothing is perfect, and yeah, I do have something to complain about… but it’s more of a "first world problem" than a genuine flaw. Okay, here it is: the internet. It was… a little spotty in my room. Like, I'm talking buffering YouTube videos and the occasional dropped Zoom call (I was still on vacation, but work calls never stop, right?!). It wasn't a deal-breaker, but it was a mild annoyance. And okay, maybe the prices at the spa are a bit… steep. But you’re paying for the experience, the ambiance… all that. So, yeah, those are the only "complaints". The minor inconveniences are nothing compared to the overall experience. Because seriously, I loved every single minute of it.
Tell me more about the pool area! Is it as Instagrammable as it looks? 🏊
Oh. My. God. The pool area! I mean, I went to SMAK's, not expecting to spend ALL my time on my bed! The pool is… yes, it's Instagram-worthy. More than. It's like a carefully curated tropical paradise. Lush greenery, crystal-clear water, the perfect temperature… And the infinity pool? Forget about it. I spent an entire afternoon just staring out at the ocean, sipping cocktails, and feeling like I was in a movie. I even saw a few people taking photos. I mean, I was too busy enjoying myself to take many pictures. I didn't even bring my phone into the pool! I wanted to *live* the moment, you know? Which is something I don't do enough, honestly. The only downside? I found a tiny stain on the side of my towel. But who cares?
Okay, give it to me straight: Would you go back? 🤔
Are you even kidding me?! In a heartbeat! I'm already saving up. I’m seriously considering selling my car (okay, maybe not, but the thought crossed my mind!). SMAK's Luxury Awaits! isn't just a hotel; it's a *vibe*. It's an experience. It's a little slice of heaven, and I'm already plotting my triumphant return. Seriously, if you want to treat yourself and feel like a million bucks (even if you only *have* a couple of hundred), book a stay. You won't regret it. Just… don't judge me if you see me fighting for the last piece of lechon. I can't help myself.
