Escape to Paradise: Hotel Laghetto Premio, Gramado, Brazil Awaits!
Gramado's Gamble: My Chaotic Chronicle of Hotel Laghetto Premio (and Paradise's Promise)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unleash ALL of my Gramado, Brazil, experience at the Hotel Laghetto Premio. Forget those polished travel brochures – this is real life, folks, complete with questionable decisions, triumphant victories over the buffet, and enough existential dread to fill a sauna.
First things first: Escape to Paradise? They sell it well, don't they? Gramado itself? Gorgeous. The hotel? Well, let's just say it’s a mixed bag, like a Brazilian fruit salad with a rogue piece of durian (you know, the smelly one).
Accessibility, a Sigh of Relief (and a Few Stumbles)
Okay, I need to be honest. Accessibility is SUPER important, and I’m happy to report that they try. Wheelchair accessible? Yup. Elevator? Thank the heavens! Getting around was mostly smooth, though a few ramps were… let’s call them “enthusiastically sloped.” The Facilities for disabled guests are present, which is a HUGE win. While not perfect, it's more accessibility than I've seen in many places. The Door man and Concierge were helpful, but it felt like they were always 10 steps ahead of you in a good way.
Internet Saga! (Or, How I Spent My Vacation Arguing with Wi-Fi)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! And… Internet access – wireless. Also YES! But… the reality? A frustrating dance of connection and disconnection. I mean, when it worked, it was glorious. I happily binged Netflix in my plush robe (more on that later). However, there were times I felt like I was back in the dial-up age, listening to the ghostly cries of “connecting…” So, Internet [LAN] became my savior at one point.
Cleanliness and Safety: Trying to Breathe Easy in a Crazy World
Okay, the post-pandemic world has left a mark. The Anti-viral cleaning products were definitely in use. Daily disinfection in common areas was happening. They really went to town disinfecting this place. They took safety seriously, and I felt it. Rooms sanitized between stays – a comfort. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Good. But did I catch myself holding my breath a little too often? Perhaps. The Hygiene certification sign was prominently displayed.
Things to Do & Ways to Pretend I'm a Zen Master (or at Least Relaxed)
This is where Laghetto Premio shines – if you're into pampering. First of all, don't even think about leaving your room without your bathrobes. Seriously. It elevates everything.
- Spa/sauna: The "spa," oh, the spa! It was the highlight. The Sauna was hot and steamy. The Steamroom was…well, steamy. I spent a glorious afternoon pretending to be a sophisticated globetrotter instead of a sweaty, slightly anxious travel writer.
- Massage: Book one. Just do it. My masseuse, bless her hands, worked out knots I didn’t even know I had. (I probably should’ve booked a Body scrub too, but I was overwhelmed by the sheer possibilities.)
- Swimming pool [outdoor] and Pool with view: The pool was beautiful, but a bit too chilly for me. I'm a wuss, what can I say?
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I meant to visit. Really I did. Let’s just say, the buffet called, and I answered.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: Buffet Battles and Hidden Gems
This is where things got… interesting. Breakfast [buffet] was an event. The Breakfast [buffet] felt like a cultural experience. The Buffet in restaurant was epic. I'm talking mountains of pastries, glistening fruit, and more cheese than a Wisconsin dairy. I'm a breakfast fiend, and I was in heaven. Coffee/tea in restaurant was amazing. The coffee shop was decent. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was surprisingly good.
A la carte in restaurant. Yes. Also the Restaurants. You have a wide range to choose from.
- Poolside bar: The poolside bar was lovely, and offered a wide range of drinks.
However…
There were some imperfections, the Bottle of water was never that much available, which was a bummer. I only got a Salad in restaurant once. I needed more.
Services and Conveniences: Navigating the Hotel Labyrinth
Air conditioning in public area was a godsend. The Concierge was helpful. Coffee shop was nice. Daily housekeeping kept things tidy. The Gift/souvenir shop was tempting, (so many little trinkets to buy). Luggage storage was a lifesaver. I got a Taxi service once. The Elevator was my best friend. The Dry cleaning service made packing light easy.
For the Kids: Bringing Up the Next Generation of Buffet Conquerors
I didn't have kids with me, but the Family/child friendly environment made me want to adopt a whole gaggle of tiny humans. The Kids meal menu was there, and the Babysitting service was available to those who wanted some alone time.
My Room: The Fortress of Solitude (and Fuzzy Slippers)
My room was… comfortable. Air conditioning saved me from the Gramado heat. Blackout curtains were essential for sleeping off the aforementioned buffet binges. The Mini bar was stocked, and my robe? My robe was a work of art. The Coffee/tea maker was crucial for the morning wake-up. A desk made me feel like I was working hard, even when I wasn’t. The Slippers were an instant favorite. The Wake-up service worked. The Wi-Fi [free] sometimes worked. The Additional toilet was useful at the right time.
The Imperfections: Gramado’s Grit
The one HUGE caveat? The road to Paradise (or at least, Hotel Laghetto Premio) is Pothole City. Seriously, the drive there was… rough. But that’s Gramado, right? A little grit mixed with the glitter.
Emotional Rollercoaster Conclusion
Would I stay at Hotel Laghetto Premio again? Yes, probably. Despite the slightly frustrating internet and the uneven roads, the spa, the breakfast, the helpful staff, and the promise of relaxation… they almost won me over. Almost. Because honestly, the memories (and the food) are worth the gamble. Escape to Paradise? Maybe not. But a decent, slightly chaotic, and very memorable Gramado getaway? Absolutely.
Avignon's Hotel d'Angleterre: Luxury Redefined (Unforgettable Stay Awaits!)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's perfectly-packaged itinerary. We're going to Gramado, Brazil, baby! Hotel Laghetto Premio Gramado, specifically. And it’s gonna be a wild ride. Prepare yourselves.
Gramado Grande Adventure: A Messy, Honest, and Possibly Slightly Unhinged Itinerary
Pre-Trip Panic & Packing Shenanigans:
Phase 1: The Existential Dread (aka Packing): Oh. My. God. Packing. It's the Everest of vacations. I stared at my suitcase for a good hour, paralyzed by the sheer possibility of forgetting something crucial. Like, what if they don't have pão de queijo anywhere near the hotel? Disaster. I swear, I considered smuggling a whole bag in my carry-on. (Don’t judge me.)
The Clothes Calamity: "Cooler weather" they said. "Layers" they advised. My brain translated that to: "Bring the entire contents of your winter wardrobe, plus three bikinis for the, uh, indoor pool." Which, let's be honest, I probably forgot to pack one, despite the several reminders I had. Ugh.
The Passport Purgatory: Found my passport. Relief! Then realized it expires in like… two months. Panic! Managed to renew it just in the nick of time. Victory! (Mostly.)
Day 1: Arrival, Awkwardness, and Pão de Queijo Salvation
The Flight Frenzy: Landed in Porto Alegre. The airport was chaos. Somehow, I managed to navigate the baggage claim (which is a miracle, really) and locate the transfer. Had to fight off a small child because, well, I was tired and my luggage has a very convenient pocket, they were trying to steal my bag!
Hotel Check-In: Potential Disaster Averted (Maybe). Smooth check-in. The lobby was lovely, all cozy and Christmassy, even though…it's not Christmas. That's Gramado's thing, apparently. Made an excellent first impression.
Room Revelation: The room was… nice. Not palatial, but clean and with a balcony. I’ve got a decent view of… some other hotel's swimming pool. Progress!
First Taste of Brazil: The most important thing had been done. I raced downstairs to find the breakfast buffet. And there it was! Mountains of pão de queijo! Ate approximately a thousand. Or maybe two. The obsession has begun. Feeling cautiously optimistic about survival.
Afternoon Angst: I tried to relax by the pool. The indoor pool, to be precise. It was… quiet. Too quiet. A couple of kids were splashing, and I felt this sudden stab of parental… well, I'm not going to go there; I felt uncomfortable! So, I spent the afternoon feeling slightly lonely.
The Evening of Embracing Solo Dining: I tried to order a drink, I had to wait 15 minutes and, I swear, I had to beg to order something. Then I tried ordering food. The waiter who was helping me, took 20 minutes to get back to me, and, as I expected, got my order wrong! I felt slightly embarrassed for not being comfortable in such a small crowd but, I guess, I am more of a loner that I thought. That was when I noticed, that I was truly alone, and I tried to make peace with the uncomfortable silence.
Day 2: Exploring Gramado (or, Attempting To)
Breakfast Round Two: Pão de Queijo Domination. Again! This time, armed with the strategy of a seasoned veteran. Made a serious dent in the supply.
The Mini-Train Debacle: Decided to be "cultured" and hop on the Trem da Serra Gaucha (the mini train) for a scenic tour. Found out it was a 2-hour ride! The tour guide could barely speak English, which caused a lot of misunderstandings. I tried to get some jokes across, but they were left in the air. At least the scenery was pretty. (Mostly.)
Lunch Lament: Found a cute little cafe by the lake. Ordered something that looked vaguely familiar. It arrived. It was… not what I expected. Tasted like something that had died and then been reanimated. I ate it anyway because… I don’t like to waste food and, you know, I am in Brazil.
Afternoon Shopping Spree: Tried to buy local goods to bring back home. A local vendor kept insisting on me to try the liquor, it ended up being too strong for my stomach. I had to sit on a bench. Very awkward!
Dinner Dilemma: I wanted to try the Brazilian barbecue, because, you know, it’s Brazil, so I searched for the best place in town. I ended up ordering too much food, and, once again, I ended up alone.
Day 3: Falling in Love with Gramado… Maybe?
- Breakfast Bliss (With a Twist): Pão de queijo, yes. But also, discovered the fresh fruit. Mango, pineapple, passion fruit… My taste buds wept with joy. I started to feel like I was actually getting the hang of this whole "vacationing" thing.
- The Christmas Village: Oh. My. God. Gramado does Christmas. A literal village dedicated to the holiday. It was… actually kind of charming, now. (Though, still weirdly out of season.) Rode a carousel. Took some selfies. Felt a surge of… happiness? Is this real life?
- The Chocolate Factory Fiesta: Gramado is known for its chocolate. Went to a factory. It was pure, unadulterated, melt-in-your-mouth bliss. Bought a small hoard. May or may not have consumed a significant portion already. (Shhh.)
- The Evening of Finding a Friend: At the hotel, I met a kind older woman, she kept me company, we chatted a bit and, it was lovely. Suddenly I felt like I was meant to be there. We walked in town and ate some ice-cream. Gramado was no longer the monster I made it to be.
Day 4: Departure Despair & The Pão de Queijo Withdrawal
Breakfast Breakdown: One last pão de queijo hurrah. Then, the inevitable, gut-wrenching feeling of impending departure.
The Last-Minute Souvenir Rush: Ran around town, frantically buying gifts. Didn’t have time to check the quality of anything. Basically, just grabbed the first shiny things.
The Airport Agony: The flight back was delayed. Airport was chaos. I was tired, emotional, and desperately craving pão de queijo.
Post-Trip Regret and the Pão de Queijo Void: I know I miss the pão de queijo… I just know it… I need more!
Overall Assessment:
Gramado? A wonderful, weird, sometimes frustrating, and ultimately lovable place. Hotel Laghetto Premio Gramado? Cozy, comfortable, and blessed with an excellent breakfast buffet. And me? Well, I survived. And I have a suitcase full of chocolate and a slightly over-stuffed memory card. Which, really, is what it's all about, isn't it?
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Vacation Awaits in Le Croisic, France!
So, what exactly *is* this thing? Like, what are we even talking about?!
Am I allowed to ask stupid questions? Because I have a *lot* of those...
Okay, so, what's the deal with *you*? Who are you, and why should I listen to anything you say?
What are some of the *weirdest* questions you've been asked, assuming this is a thing anyone asks you anything?
How do you handle disagreements? What if I think you're completely wrong about something (which is probably likely...)
What's with the stream-of-consciousness thing? Are you just making this up as you go along, or is there a secret plan?
Okay, okay, you've convinced me. So, where do we even *start*?
